You are in serious need of a "nurturing retreat" if you can say yes to at least two of the folloiwng:

You have no energy to anything.

Your main source of "fun" is television or your computer.

You feel as if you are running on an empty tank.

You run around all the time.

Your car is your primary home.

You can’t remember your dreams and goals.

You feel no inner peace.

You are unable to remember the last time you had quiet time.

Your soul cries out for more of ANYTHING.

You are the one who nurtures everyone else and can’t do it for yourself.

You feel empty.

You feel disconnected from life

You have no control over the direction of your life

You have no joy in the future

Nothing seems worth the effort you expend.

You have no trust in anyone.

You have no confidence in yourself.

You have a poor self-image.

If you can pick at least two of the above, then you, my Sistah are in need of emergency self nurturing. It is not good to have nothing to look forward to. There is a definite imbalance when we constantly allow others to feed off our energy without reciprocation. You deserve to feel something besides "tired" or "fed up". You deserve to be loved and nurtured and stop walking through life hoping things will change. You have to be the driving force to your own healing. To affect change, there must be an awareness that it is needed. Once the awareness is there, it is then time to do tha thang! Ain’t nobody gonna nurture you like you will Sistahs!

As a Yoruba Priestess, I encounter many who have a negative connotation of the word "ritual". I hope to change that. To me, many rituals are life affirming and the majority are actually activities of daily living. We get up, take care of our hygiene, and so forth. Those are rituals. They are the rites you perform on a regular basis.

As a Yoruba Priestess, I encounter many who have a negative connotation of the word "ritual". I hope to change that. To me, many rituals are life affirming and the majority are actually activities of daily living. We get up, take care of our hygiene, and so forth. Those are rituals. They are the rites you perform on a regular basis.

I particularly like the following ritual for nurturing:

Items needed:

Blue food coloring or bluing

Sea foam bubble bath

Blue and white candles

Sea salt or regular in a pinch

Your favorite soothing music

Or Tape of Ocean waves

Coconut incense or

Lavender incense or aromatherapy

White headwrap/gelee

White bed clothing

Your favorite herbal tea or contact me for a recipe for mixing your own

Comfort food

White carnations divided into two bunches

Or white roses

Shea butter or coconut oil

Timer set for 30 minutes

First, commit to at least 30 minutes of nurturing yourself. These means a quiet house or just lock yourself in the bathroom and use earplugs! Treat yourself to using the "good" dishes for your tea and snack. Get out the good napkins and the best nighties you have been saving for a "special" night. This IS a special night.

Bring all the items into the bathroom with you. Set them up nicely. If you are into altars, use a blue cloth to set your items on, add sea shells if you have them and use crystal glasses if you have chosen to relax with a glass of wine or even juice. You are your own "guest".

Put ¾ of the carnations in your most beautiful vase and take into bathroom. Light the candles and incense. Turn on the music and take deep, cleansing breaths. It will be ok.

Take a shower with whatever soap you use to wash away the stress of the day first. Wipe out tub, then run bath water using 1 cup of the salt, only enough food coloring or bluing to make the water an Ocean blue, the sea foam bath bubbles and the rest of the flowers. You can add a bit of baby oil to nurture your skin while you soak. I have a portable bath spa, which relaxes my tired muscles. They are very inexpensive. Try it if you can.

Ease your tired body and soul into the bath and soak. Meditate or pray on what you want for yourself. Pray away your cares. Ask God or if you are Yoruba, invoke Yemoja, the Great Mother to nurture you. Imagine yourself on a beautiful beach at sunset. Drink the tea from the tub and slowly eat whatever comfort foods you have chosen. Relish the flavor of it all. Breathe in deep the calming effects of the coconut or lavender. Relax.

When you are ready, use the flowers in the tub to caress your body, praying for the sweetness to come into your life. Be sure to clean what is called your third eye, back of your neck and solar plexus. Cleanse your ears from all the negative things you have heard and massage your temples gently. Relax, it’s ok. Allow the cares of the world to flow into the beautiful ocean water. Slow down your breathing.

If you meditate, when self-defeating thoughts come to mind, blow them into a blue balloon and allow them to float away. Call life-affirming thoughts to you in a white balloon to burst over your crown charka.

Yoruba devotees:

Prayer to Esu:

Eshu, the Divine Messenger

Please open the way for my nurturing.

Eshu, please close the way for negative thoughts to enter my mind

Open the way for only those thoughts that are life affirming,

Ashe

Prayer to Yemoja:

Yemoja! Great Mother of all things.

The Giver of life!

Water sustains and nurtures all living things

Gift from Olodumare,

Yemoja, I call upon you to nurture me

As you nurture the fish in the sea.

Yemoja, I call upon you to nurture me

As you nurture the earth with your refreshing waters

Yemoja, I call upon you to nurture me as you nurture

Those who fish in your waters with your benevolence.

Great Mother! Giver of Good things!

Help me to see that I am worth nurturing and

That I am a good and blessed person upon the face of the earth.

Ashe

Once you are ready, get out of the tub. Dry off with one of your best towels. Oil your skin with the shea butter or coconut oil. Glory in the beauty of your moisturized skin. Make sure you put plenty on your feet and wrap in saran wrap for another 30 minutes, even if you have work to do. This will keep in the moisture. If you have time, give yourself a pedicure.

Relax. Deep breaths Sistahs.

Get dressed, take the flowers, incense or aromatherapy from the bath and move to your bedroom or place you will relax and can enjoy them. Curl up on the couch or in bed with your drink and include water. Allow yourself to love yourself and hug YOU. If you wish, you can make a list of those thoughts and feelings that come to mind.

Close with a prayer of thanksgiving for your life.

Feel free to contact me if you need further information.

I will have a website launch at the beginning of the year, which will kick off what I like to call "the year of the healthy black woman". I will take us step by step into looking within, nurturing ourselves, beauty tips, life affirming statements, dietary issues and other things, combined with Yoruba Spirituality.